Every spy should smell like this

It usually starts like this:
"Alina, I hate bothering you again, but could you watch my plant while I am out of town? I need to go...<include some boring details about a baby shower for one of her friends relatives> Only two days"
And she puts a huge pot in my hands before I manage to come up with a word.

Then, three weeks later she comes back to pick up her plant (without explaining the delay).  She picks up the flower and talks to it in that annoying baby voice as if I am not even around:
"Here is your Mommy! did you miss Mommy? oh Mommy missed her little boy sooo much!"
Is it me or it is creepy when people talk to flowers as if they were their kids? with gender and all...
"Oh you look so week and tired.  Did she water you? No, she didn't? Oh,  mommy is sorry! I will spank her right now - what a bad bad lady"  and she winks inviting me to be part of the fun and pretends spanking me. 
"What are you saying? she said THAT to you? oh Mommy is sorry you had to hear that.  Mommy brought you a gift! shhh... I will show you at home.  Come to me, lets go home"
And they proceed to the door where she turns back to me and winks again.
When I pass her balcony I often hear her talking to her flowers.  It is not the usual "let me water this flower" thinking out-loud many lonely people do.  It is a full bloom conversation!  Apparently the plants have very strong opinions about talk shows and soap characters.
Today I was walking by and heard how she was scolding a poor plant for rooting for the wrong gal in the Bachelor Pad.  I wonder if sending a flower to my bad house is a punishment for talking back to Momma?  Or maybe she sends them to me to spy on me?

Anyway, I wish I could take her to Shanghai and show her this sculpture.  If she finds what to talk about with her boring ivies I wonder what those huge beauties might tell her.